Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life in the Spring....rebirth, renew, revive!

I haven't blogged a lot lately because I guess I've been busy living life.  It was 1 year on May 1 that Sunil left his broken body. I wasn't sure how I was doing to react. The week leading up to the day was harder than the day itself. The week before brought me back to the week before he died and how sick he was and the wretched hospital visit. I like to block that out of my memory and focus on before he was that ill, when we would do life together.  Which is why I don't like to dwell on the crappy part. I choose to remember the amazing times, the mundane boring times, the 'just doing life' times. Which is way better for me mentally.

With that said, life now is completely different. I want to focus on the positives that have come since Sunil died. Such as:
1. I am auditioning and performing again!
2. I can play softball again, and a newly added sport, football!
3. I haven't visited a hospital in over a year.
4. I met someone! He is super sweet and cooks andtakes care of me! He loves Trixie and tries to love Cody and Anna, when they will let him.) We have fun hanging out. Oddly enough his name starts with an S and he is brown, but that is where the similarities stop. :)
5. I'm working part-time for an amazingly smart woman who started her own PR company.

I have had to get used to a few things in my new life... I am struggling financially now that I am single with a single income, but its working itself out. I'm getting used to being a 'me' instead of a 'we'. Finally, I'm just now getting used to not having to take care of anyone but myself. I think that has been the hardest part.

There is a woman I went to school with that is losing her brother-in-law to a brain tumor. She emailed me asking for advice. I feel like I really don't have much to tell her. Just because you go through something, does it make you an expert? I just told her to ride the wave of emotions. Let her loved ones around her feel how they are going to feel. There isn't a right way or a wrong way to get by. That's all I can say about it....

I'm sitting at the dpg park at 8AM,  blogging from my phone. Ha! Gotta love technology.

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