Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Left Arm is weak...

As Sonali just texted me, "but we knew it was coming, I guess." This quote is her reaction to me texting her that Sunil's left hand is tingly and isn't working anymore. He can open and close it but that is about it. I have mixed feelings. Part of me, that was is praying for a miracle, is heartbroken. The other part of me is just holding my breath to see how Sunil is going to react, so far, there hasn't been much emotion involved with this discovery.

Last week we had a volunteer come by the apartment from Calvary to pray for us. She said that she was praying all day just to "hear" if there was anything that God wanted her to tell us. She said what kept coming back to her was for us to trust God. It was a powerful message for me because I am completely out of control of this situation and there isn't anything left to do but trust. So I have to trust. I have to trust when I see Sunil's eye's clouding over. I have to trust when his hand stops working. I have to trust when he wakes up and talks to me about how he had to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I'm trying really hard to trust. Trust that watching Sunil die is going to be okay. Sigh.

He is still Sunil. Making jokes, loving food. He is eating a goat cheese and beet salad with honey-glazed walnuts and toasted pitas as I type this. My recipe :) Yummy.

We went outside today! Marlon and Amanda came up to visit and we all took the dog down to play in the patio and let Sunil get fresh air.

We also have a new aid who is amazing. We miss Alex and will welcome him back if he can come back, but after 4 aids since Alex we finally have Thomas! He is an amazing gentleman. Very sweet and very good at his job. In this pic he is giving Marlon and Sunil a ride on Sunil's wheelchair. Marlon's hair is blowing in Sunil's face hence the pirate eye. :)

Love you all!!!!


Becky said...

So many people out here are praying and trusting alongside you, Mandi! Thank you for sharing with us.

vidyut said...

Thank you for sharing! I am also continuing to pray and trust in the Almighty!
Sending lots of love and hugs!

h said...

mom and i are praying for both of you. luv

Gretchen Mattson said...

Hey Mandi! The kids and I love looking at your pictures. We are praying hard. Trusting God is so hard and I want you to know I am here when you need me. I so wish I could be there...soon, I hope. Love you! Give Sunil a HUGE and TIGHT hug for me.