I'm sorry if I'm burdening the reader with what is going on. It's hard being at this end of the blog. I want to let people know what is happening, yet, the positive comedic Mandi side of me wants to sugar coat and make it seem like things are getting better. I do that because I think that if I believe it, then it will become the truth. If I admit that there is an issue, than the issue becomes reality and I can't deal with reality very well. Hence the comedy. The best way to shun reality.
I'm still holding out hope that there is a way that Sunil can be healed. I've always had faith in God. I've always prayed. In situations like this it is very hard to see God. Sunil and I prayed last night in the midst of his pain to try to relieve it and hopefully just calm our spirits because we were both getting worked up over not being able to make the pain go away. In this situation, I just wanted to see instant relief. I wanted to see Sunil's pain go away. When it didn't, how do you keep having faith? Faith through the pain? I'm not wavering in my belief in God, I'm just posing the question. I don't see what happens in the background. In the spiritual realm there could be a gigantic battle going on. At least I would like to think so. Even if I don't see an instant result I have to have faith that God has not forsaken us and that something bigger is in the works. :)
I just have to face the fact that Sunil's disease is increasing and his health is declining and that is a reality I can't hide from with comedy. Crap.
It was a blizzard in NYC yesterday. I will leave you with pics of Trixie out in the patio running around. So cute!