Monday, August 27, 2012

Slowly but surely

Sunil is slowly making his way via his adventure pods across the world. He was just recently in Greece with my friend Joann, I can't wait to see the pictures. I still have some adventure pods if anyone wants to join the "movement" to get Sunil everywhere on the globe. I will hopefully find a job soon that will allow me to begin traveling with him. I would LOVE to bring him to Australia and New Zealand but that will be in the far future. I leave you with the awesome pic of  Sunil on the beaches of Ireland sent by my amazing cousin Nicki.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Phase one of Operation Travel Gnome: Sunil's Adventure Pods

We are in full swing with Operation Travel Gnome! The response from people have been incredible and I'm so excited to see what comes from this. I was just hoping for a few people taking some Sunil to some fun places and what I've received is ten times more! So far Sunil is heading to Charleston, SC and is currently in
Dublin Ireland, Plainfield Indiana,Tennessee, El Segundo, Ca, San Francisco, Ca, Galveston, TX, Philadelphia, PA and Minneapolis, MN. Not a bad start. 

We are recording video and taking pictures and, I hope, creating something memorable. Jazzmyn Banks is a fantastic friend who I met through Sunil. She is a talented film maker and said I should turn this project into a documentary. So I am! I'm not really sure what that means yet as we are in just the first stage of this. I do know that with Sunil's creative friends having his "Adventure Pods" in their hands anything is possible!

If you still want to get in on the project you still can! There is plenty of Sunil to go around. You can donate money to help pay for the urn and shipping and I'll send him out to you. I hope to start fundraising for the film project and be able to start really getting some great footage. Till then, if you get an urn you can just use your videocam on your computer set on the highest setting. I can send you instructions when you get the urn if you need. 

Most of the folks that are doing this knew Sunil and he holds a special place in their hearts. I also have a cousin in Dublin who has never met Sunil but offered to do this for us. Thanks Nicki! I am starting to believe that this is really going to turn into something special. 

I leave you with some pics that have already started to come in!

Just select "Friends and Family" on the Paypal link and follow the instructions to send money to If you use a credit card they will charge you the fee or they will take it out of the balance you send. Either way is ok with me. 

Friday, January 06, 2012

Sunil, The Travel Gnome?

Since May 1, 2010 I've been trying to figure out what I should do with my "boo-boo head squared butt nub." Yup, just one of his precious nicknames. He often called me his "brain." I would be in the other room and I would hear "Hey, Brain? Do you know where my warm socks are?" or "Brain boo boo head? What should I do for lunch tomorrow?" Ya know, your standard pet-names in a loving relationship, right? Anyway, I finally figured out what I would like to do with the remains of the love of my life. I want to turn him into the Travel Gnome/Flat Stanley!

If you are not familiar, let me sum it up for you. When Sonali, Sunil's Sis, and I went to the funeral home to pick Sunil's ashes up we got on the subject of what we should do with him. I know people that put their beloved Nana on a shelf for display, but I never felt truly comfortable with that. So we started joking that it would be awesome if we sent the urn to exotic destinations and took a picture of the urn in touristy situations, such as, wearing a beret in front of the Eifel Tower etc etc. Sonali and I laughed until we cried at the obsurdity of the concept. But then, as I stare at a very dusty urn on my shelf in Brooklyn I realized that that is EXACTLY what we should do!

Some of you may be familiar with "Flat Stanley" the children's book that had elementary kids all over the country sending a flat doll named Stanley to their remote friends and family to take a picture of Flat Stanley in the world their family and friends live in. (See pic below of Clint and Flat Stanley)

This is what I want to do with Sunil! He always said he traveled lots of places but saw nothing because he was always working. So my proposal is this. If you are a family member or friend that lives anywhere in the world and want to participate, I will send you a small urn with a portion of Sunil's ashes in it. Your job would be to take him to the tourist destination or landmark that shows off your neck of the woods and take a picture of the urn in front of it. You send me the photographs, remember to be as creative as you can! You keep the urn and do whatever you want with it, spread the ashes, display him prominently on your mantle, or send it to someone else that may live somewhere interesting to take more pictures. My goal is to send Sunil around the world!

I have set up a paypal link on my blog page (upper left corner), because I am way too broke to buy the urns required for this to happen. You can pay for the urn and shipping and I'll send it to you! I have found small urns for as low as $17.95 so if you send me $20-25 that should be enough, hopefully, to send you the full urn. It wont say Charlie. It won't say anything, so feel free to decorate it as you see fit!

I'm also saving some of the ashes to make a diamond out of him! Sunil and I never had enough money to by me an engagement or wedding diamond. He picked out a "no kill" diamond from Canada that he wanted to give me but we could never afford it. I think he would think it's super amazing that we could turn him into the diamond that I never got. Although, I'm still not in the position to be able to afford it. If you feel it in your heart to donate some money to making Sunil a .2 carot blue diamond that I can put into a Teno setting, I would be forever grateful :)

So there it is. It seems crazy and fun and extremely unorthodox, but that was Sunil! My "boo boo head squared butt nub"

Interestingly, Sunil's mom called me yesterday to wish me a Happy Anniversary. I forgot my anniversary! Sunil and I got married on Jan 3, 2004. I forgot our anniversary every year even when Sunil was alive. I can't believe it would be 8 years if the tumor hadn't of taken him too soon.

I hope we get enough people to do this. I really want to see Sunil go around the world! So spread the news to anyone you know that may have met him, or may just be cool enough to do this for a young widow in Brooklyn!

If you don't have nor want paypal but you want to participate, email me and I'll send you my address for you to send a check or money order for the urn. :)
Go Team "Send Sunil around the world!"

Thanks and Happy New Year!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Cody came home and I'm done with the 60 day body transformation!

A little over 24 hour of him being missing, Cody came around the corner and jumped in my lap like he wasn't just running around the streets of Bed-Stuy. He was fine! Dumb cat! :)

So I completed the Cardio Karate DVD System and we shot the commercial last weekend. I've lost 23 lbs and about 26 inches! I went from a 10/12 to a 4/6 in dress and jean size. I can't even believe I did it!

Here is a pic. Maybe I will get more work!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Things are looking up

I have to apologize for my last post. I was having a hard day. I'm usually not that negative. If you know me, than you know that I am a constant positive thinker. I've been doing a 60 day body transformation and it is really making me emotional. I've lost 14 lbs and have gained most of my muscle back that I lost when I quit dancing. It's exciting! I can't tell you too much about it, except the product (at home dvd cardio system) is coming out the end of November and I'll probably be in the commercial. Woot! I'm a size freakin' 6! I've never been a size 6, at least that I can remember!

I lost Cody! He got out of the window I crack when I cook. Normally the cats cant get out because the blinds stop them, but the blinds got blown forward from the wind and they both got out last night. Anna came back to the window this morning but Cody is still MIA. I'm so nervous for him! I'm writing a lost cat sign now to sprinkle the neighborhood with. I'm out of colored ink in my printer so I hope I can print a decent pic!

Please pray that he comes home!

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Mostly I'm ok....

But today, I want my life back. I want my husband, my best friend. I want my old apartment with my roofdeck. I want my job back. I want to see Marlon every weekend and drink the coffee she made for Sunil and I while we slept an extra 20 minutes. I want to wake up with someone that I love next to me.

It's been a year and a half, shouldn't I be over all this by now?

I thought having a new apartment in a new neighborhood would help me to move on. But somedays I don't want to move on. My life has not gotten better since Sunil died. It's continued to challenge me to the breaking point. And tonight, I'm breaking. With Sunil alive, I had someone to face the challenges in life with. Now I have to face them alone and I'm not doing well.

In a perfect world Sunil would still be here, we would still have our routine and our love and our friendship and I wouldn't be having this moment. But it's not a perfect world. This world is tough and it doesn't give a damn what you go through, it just keeps moving on, whether you are ready or not.
Some days I'm not ready to keep moving on...

I hope to meet someone who can be my best friend again, someday. Someone who I can take on this cruel unforgiving world with and concur it. Someone who will listen to me vent, who will eat Chinese food in pajamas with me. Who supports me in my ambitions and me in theirs. Who will let me be crabby without judgement. Someone to be silly with. I miss having a best friend and a mate. I don't do well solo. I'm better in a partnership and I lost that on May 1, 2010. I'm afraid its gone forever.

Thank you for listening. I just needed to put these words out to the world in hopes maybe good karma will come my way. I'm still waiting for it. I wonder if Karma knows I moved to Brooklyn?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life in the Spring....rebirth, renew, revive!

I haven't blogged a lot lately because I guess I've been busy living life.  It was 1 year on May 1 that Sunil left his broken body. I wasn't sure how I was doing to react. The week leading up to the day was harder than the day itself. The week before brought me back to the week before he died and how sick he was and the wretched hospital visit. I like to block that out of my memory and focus on before he was that ill, when we would do life together.  Which is why I don't like to dwell on the crappy part. I choose to remember the amazing times, the mundane boring times, the 'just doing life' times. Which is way better for me mentally.

With that said, life now is completely different. I want to focus on the positives that have come since Sunil died. Such as:
1. I am auditioning and performing again!
2. I can play softball again, and a newly added sport, football!
3. I haven't visited a hospital in over a year.
4. I met someone! He is super sweet and cooks andtakes care of me! He loves Trixie and tries to love Cody and Anna, when they will let him.) We have fun hanging out. Oddly enough his name starts with an S and he is brown, but that is where the similarities stop. :)
5. I'm working part-time for an amazingly smart woman who started her own PR company.

I have had to get used to a few things in my new life... I am struggling financially now that I am single with a single income, but its working itself out. I'm getting used to being a 'me' instead of a 'we'. Finally, I'm just now getting used to not having to take care of anyone but myself. I think that has been the hardest part.

There is a woman I went to school with that is losing her brother-in-law to a brain tumor. She emailed me asking for advice. I feel like I really don't have much to tell her. Just because you go through something, does it make you an expert? I just told her to ride the wave of emotions. Let her loved ones around her feel how they are going to feel. There isn't a right way or a wrong way to get by. That's all I can say about it....

I'm sitting at the dpg park at 8AM,  blogging from my phone. Ha! Gotta love technology.